It was a windy day in late March. The snow, long gone from the coastal roads of France, was now starting to melt on the Pyrenees. It would be a further three weeks before Andorra became completely clear. But by then, my family and I would be back home in Cambridge, England. My step brother, David, and I had never been really close, meeting only every few years to catch up on news. But since he had moved away from Dorset for work, and then married the French Catalan Antoinette Dubois, distance had also been a factor. I was keen to see the last of the Pyrenean snow and the spring of Cataluna with my first wife and four children, so I diverted slightly to visit Dave en route. By accident, we happened to drive up to his villa near Sorède, just as the midwife arrived. For this reason, I met Simone on the day she was born - 27th March 1981. I don't remember any of that. No, Sarah, I don't suppose you do. You were only two years old at time.

What was she like as a baby? Loud. Very, very loud. And always hungry. Chuckle. She hasn't changed much then. No, not a lot. Were you ever in aerospace, dad? No, although the family has always had close ties. My father, mother, father and mother-in-law all served together in the Royal Air Force during the war. My grandparents owned tin and copper mines in Malaysia, which is where my father was born. They returned to England when the Japanese started making threatening noises in the late thirties and your grandfather served his apprenticeship in aero-electrical engineering in Bristol. When the war started in Europe, he was assigned to repair Spitfires and Hurricanes during the Battle of Britain. Your grandma worked with him, refuelling and re-arming the aircraft. My father-in-law was a pilot and mother-in-law drove the fuel truck, so they all knew each other.

My step father was also in the RAF, but served in Thailand during the Korean War. On demob, he went into aircraft design. I suppose it was only natural that his son, Simi's father, and then Simi herself, should follow in his footsteps. So when did you next see Simone? Seventeen years later, in 1998. Simi's mother had died in a car crash when she was ten, so they moved back to Dorset. Your mum had left to live with that guy in Carlisle, you were at college in Cambridge, and we all met up on holiday. At Dungeon Ghyll? Exactly. You were not too young to remember that event. It changed all our lives. Within a few months, Simi and I were in sunny California showing our asses to all and sundry, and you were living it up in Spain.

How did you get started modelling? I started first because I was of legal age whereas Simi was only seventeen. She was dancing at a club, but was upset because she not allowed to strip completely naked. But you were? Of course. I was almost nineteen. I met a girl called Patrica Uptown, better known as Trish, Trisha or Tracy. I did several girl-girl shoots with her. Lesbian shoots? Well, I am not a lesbian, as you well know. However, we did have a lot of fun together. I was still a virgin and was not ready to lose it yet. Did you do many girl-girl shoots? Dozens. But only a few with Trish. She was very easy to get on with.

Which did you enjoy the most? The one where we both stripped off an an air-force base social club. Why that one? There were literally hundreds of people there, including several other models we knew. And you stripped for them? Yep, completely naked. And then we danced for a while. How far did you go? As far as we dare. We touched each other and then Trish fisted me. But you were a virgin, you said. I was, technically. I had never been with a guy. However, I had used dildos a lot, some of them very big. But Trish's hands were very small.

Did Simi ever pose with Trish? Yes, several times, but over a year later, when she was old enough. In public? Not like the fisting contest that Trish and I did. And that was just girl-girl? Yes, but by then, Trish had also done a couple of boy-girl shoots. And was Simi into that? Simi was into filming full sex movies and posing for porno pic sets right from her eighteenth birthday. Yes, she had already lost her virginity. It wasn't just that, dad. Simi had never had relationships as such. Her temperament made that difficult. So she filled almost every waking hour either posing seductively or screwing guys in front of a camera.

Was this all for the Internet? Some was. But in 1998, the Internet was in its infancy. Most of the early work was primarily for girlie magazines. For both of you? Yes, I was Penthouse Pet in March 1999. The nanosecond Simi hit her eighteenth birthday, thousands of her pics, already taken, hit magazines all over the States, many all over the world. She was an instant sucess. What did she have that other girls didn't? Attitude! Attitude? You bet. She was pure Catalan bitch who discarded her knickers at the drop of a hat. She was a seriously dirty girl.

So when did you both hit the Internet? I suppose that we were a part of that development during 1999 and 2000. Many of our pics from magazines were then published on the web. All of a sudden, our audience was no longer thousands but millions, worldwide. So did you both have loads of guys wanting you as a girl-friend? I did, but not Simi. At one stage in early 2000, I had over a thousand guys in my ICQ contact list, many of whom came to chat every week. I had offers of coffee, dinner and marriage every day. And Simi? No-one wanted to marry Simi. Guys only ever wanted to fuck her. Well, she did act extremely provocatively. True. But it was, and still is, an act. She is the world's number one prick-teaser.

She teases very effectively. She has had plenty of practise. She was teasing guys when she was at school. She gave the impression that she would allow simply anyone to have sex with her, which was a long way from the truth. Ah, but was it still true in 2000? To my knowledge, she has hardly ever had sex off camera. However, she was always great at cyber-sex. I find it interesting that she never wanted boys, only older men. Older men, like you, dad. Very, very older men.

Hey, I'm not that old. Yes, you are, you old rocker. However, you are precisely what Simi needs right now - someone stable, strong and always "there" for her. I am not young, Sarah. I cannot always be "there" for her. She knows that, dad. But let's hope that by the time you are not around, she will be stabilised. You thinks she's crazy, too? Of course she's crazy. She drives like a maniac, for one thing. But she has never had an accident. True. Let's hope it stays that way. She is the world's last 100% pure nymphomaniac. Her appetite is greater than my stamina, that's for sure. That's why it is great that you allow her so much freedom with her sex life. It's the only way I can guarantee she'll always come home at night.

Dad, whatever else she may be, she loves you, and will never leave you. Ok. One day, she'll run out of men to fuck. Not for a long time, yet. Not while there are so many willing volunteers lining up, desperate to stick their dicks into her. But, when she runs out of eager cocks, she's always got Danny the Dildo and Vic the Vibrator, both of which are much bigger than I am. I'll take your word for that, dad. But all the men she fucks with these days are probably bigger than you are. Even bigger than most dildos and vibrators, too.

One thing is certain, she only has to see a big cock and off come her panties. Does that include yours? No, she usually takes them off before I get home. One thing I can say in her favour is that she has never said "no" to me. She still turns you on then, dad? Yes, and, strangely enough, I do the same for her. Don't you get upset when she has sex with other guys? No, I just want to be sure she is happy. That is the important thing. Do you actually enjoy watching her being screwed? You want the truth? Yes, I do. I enjoy that very much. Does that seem strange to you? No, it's very understanding in the circumstances. Simone's happiness is the most important thing to me. You know why she does it?

The pleasure, I suppose. She could get pleasure from dildos and vibrators. No, she does not play with men for her own pleasure. She simply loves to make men happy. She makes you happy, doesn't she? Of course. But how do you know this is the same with other guys? Have you not seen the loving way she handles a guy's cock? She clearly gets a huge kick out of stroking him. She loves licking and sucking a guy, and especially making him cum. Do you? My God, yes. But nether of us likes the taste of semen. In fact, I have never met any girl who does. We swallow it only when the film script demands it. At all other times, we wank them till the juice spurts all over our faces and dribbles onto our boobs.

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After your mother and I seperated, I went to live in Spain, as you know?

In the apartment?

Not at first. I was Entertainments Manager at Alfas Paradise at Albir and living on site. It was there that I met Natalje and we got the apartment together in El Racó de L'Oix. In 1999? Yes, at the end of the main season in September. I had started writing for the Costa Blanca News. Did you and Natalje.....? No, we did not. Although we came very close a number of times. We went everywhere together and I know a lot of people assumed we were an item. My main objective was to get her off snorting cocaine. It was a habit she picked up at college.

So you had been living together for three months when Simi and I came to visit for Xmas? Yes. I remember we both met you at Alicante Airport in the dead of night. That was the first Xmas I had ever had away from home. It was odd spending it with you, Simi and Naj. But it was okay? Absolutely, Benidorm is the best place for any celebration. Did you meet many guys there? Yeah, dozens. But it was all a great disappointment. It was? How? Loads of guys came down from France and the UK specially to meet you and Naj. Yes, but all they wanted was sex, sex, sex. We wanted more than that. You could have fooled me, the way Natalje and Abbi were flaunting themselves at everyone.

She did that for the entire week, right up till Millennium night. Ah, now that was a night to remember. More so for you and Simi. You made your own fireworks. Did you already fancy her? Not in the slightest. She wanted to control everything, including me. Aha, so that's what you fell out about at the Black and White Bar in Edificio Coblanca. I only went there for Naj. The problem is, I don't speak Dutch. Naj does. So where did she try to take you? Some dancing place near the Pueblo. But I had promised to go and have a few jars with Dave at the Manchester United Bar just off Avenida de Madrid. So that's where you went. Simi said it was full of Brits. Some were expats, others there on holiday. Simi said she danced.

Yes, I suppose you could call it dancing. To me, it was more like a striptease. She took her clothes off? Not all of them. If you remember, she was wearing that short tartan dress. Yes, I remember thinking that she would get a cold in her nether regions. Well, she was wearing white panties and she made sure that everyone saw them. That sounds like my Simi. The customers kept shouting for more so she took them off, right in front of everyone. She took her knickers off? Yes. And she blatantly stuffed them in my top pocket. I was so embarrassed, but everyone laughed.

I bet that was a sight to see. It's a shame you didn't take photos. I had no idea that she was going to make an exhibition of herself. Some of the customers took some, of course, but Dave said they were strangers. I bet there are pics of Simi's ass all over Manchester. Or on some obscure website. Yeah. That girl certainly knows how to put on a good strip show. It's a knack I never gained. I dance like a dying fish. Hahaha, You're not that bad, kid.

Maybe not, but I cannot keep pace with Simi. She's the sexy Dancing Queen. Did it turn you on, dad? I'd have to be gay not to. And no-one in that bar was interested in football on Millennium night. That's for sure. And their wives didn't object? Not in the slightest. In fact, the women were calling for more all the time. Knowing that they'd get a good screw from their horny men when they got back to their hotel, I expect. Speaking as a man, I knew exactly what I wanted to do right then.

Obviously you didn't, or I'd have had to bail you out of jail. True. El Gardia are not noted for their sense of humour. When did you leave? Everyone went outside on the stroke of midnight to see the fireworks. Including you and Simi. I was in awe and Simi put her arms around my waist and snuggled up to me. It was, after all, winter. And even Benidorm can be cold at night, especially on the seashore. Hahaha, especially with no knickers on.

And after the fireworks? We just stayed awhile, watching the lights and the parties in full swing. And? I asked her if she wanted to go back inside. She said she would rather stroll back along Levante Beach. Bo-o-oring. It could have been under different circumstances. But I was beginning to think differently about Simone. You were just horny from a striptease. No, it was more than that. I wanted to look after her, care for her, protect her. From what? From herself, I suppose.

Simone is a big girl. She is perfectly capable of sticking up for herself. I know that now. But that night, she seemed to need support. Where did you go? Back to the car. We'd left it on Del Mar, at the back of the Black and White. No sex? All right, yes. We had sex. Where?

On the beach. We sat on the wall and she pushed me over onto the grass and came astride me. I was in her before I knew it. And then I took her on the bonnet (hood) of the car. In the car park? Yep. Anyone could have seen us. Hmm. And then we drove up onto the headland. Above Rincon? Yes. She'd been on top, I'd been on top. And it was now time for a long, slow, comfortable screw up against the wall.

Well, the view from there is certainly nice. I didn't notice. I was busy. Remember? At your age, dad, all this excitement is not good for your blood pressure. Yeah, but what a way to go, eh? We heard you come home. No, let me rephrase that. We heard the kitchen table creaking. And then the sofa, then the bed. Did I keep you awake? No, Naj's giggling kept me awake. She was sure that the two of you were never going to stop screwing. Sorry.

In the morning, Naj and I went over to our favourite bar in Altea. And you two were still in bed. Doesn't it seem strange to know that you are now living just a mile away? Don't tell me that you moved to Altea just to be near that bar. Not entirely. Tell me, when did you decide to get married? In bed, while you were in the bar in Altea. That soon? She had her back to me but I felt her stir awake. I asked her to marry me, on the spur of the moment. She rolled over to face me, kissed me gently and said "Oui, bien sur." (Yes, of course.)